This was my facebook status after I found out your gender during an emergency room visit that I took your mother to because she was concerned at your very sudden lack of movement. Needless to say this statement made some of my friends respond in various forms of surprise and incredulity. Partly because they themselves couldn’t believe I was having a daughter (and a third child at that, but that’s a different story), but also because they could not believe that I wouldn’t “know” what to do with one. The responses ranged from sincere advice on how to raise a daughter, to outright scolding me for not knowing that I should “LOVE HER”.
The responses were amusing, especially since my main intent was generally lost on those of my friends. You see, in reality, this was my way of announcing your gender to all of my friends and acquaintances whom were curious about it. I thought everyone knew my sense of humor enough that they wouldn’t take this statement as serious. I was expecting a herd of congratulatory responses and was not expecting to be scolded for making this statement. So your gender announcement turned partially into a very successful troll.
Of course, I was only half joking when I said this. In my mind I really did ask this question of myself, but I had also answered it. You see, before I had children I always thought that I would be a father eventually but my thought process never made it past that point. So the question of gender never really entered my mind until after I had my first child.
At some point after that I realized that I definitely wanted a daughter. This is not to say that I didn’t want my sons- your brothers mean the world to me and I would not give them up for anything. But the thought entered my mind that I would want to “try” for a daughter. Well, it turned out that, whether by trial or chance, your mother and I had succeeded in making you.
And suddenly, even more questions began to pop up. I began thinking about your upbringing, how it would differ from your brothers, the things that I would want to teach you… how to handle your first boyfriend, how to help you understand and deal with your emotions, how to teach you what to look for in a relationship. Many fun thoughts entered my mind then, such as the best way to freak out your first boyfriend when he comes over to “meet the parents” (none of which I will write here- those will be a surprise), but the most important conclusions that I came to was that I needed to lead by example. This made me remember a popular phrase: The best thing a father can do for his daughter is to love her mother.
Well, dear daughter, I can tell you that I am very much, definitely, sincerely, incredibly, regrettably, overwhelmingly in love with your mother. There will be no shortage of love here. We may express our love in very… odd… ways at times, but as you grow up I’m sure you will come to recognize it as such. So with all that in mind remember this: no matter what happens, always know that I’m never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
<3 Your Daddy