When You Were New


Just after birth, they were constantly monitoring my blood pressure and pumping me full of pitocin after she was born, for fear of my losing more blood that I had already lost during the fourteen hours of labor which started off with a partial placental abruption and a gush of blood. My daughter, though, was placed on my belly and we stayed together. She nursed and everyone respected our space, just flittering around like anxious bumble bees to watch my numbers. Her birth was observed, not managed, monitored not forced. The monitor belts which I had hated with my first two were not an issue with her, because they were a part of keeping us safe. Necessity, not needless paranoia. K. Came into the world through the most complicated birth, the only dangerous birth, the birth where I was open to any and all interventions and where I handed my care over to my doctor in trust. K. Was the one born with the fewest interventions, the most respect, and in the most hands-off way. Our providers make a world of difference. With my first two births I felt that I had few choices, none of which I liked. With K. I stumbled upon my doctor and he gave me the autonomy that I had craved in the births of each of her brothers. In turn I gave him my trust. He did not betray it. Interventions and monitoring are sometimes necessary, I have never objected to the necessary, only to the routine.

One thought on “When You Were New

  1. every day i cannot wait until the next nurshable post. every day it makes my heart go pitter-pat. every day is another journey like I and so many women have endured. thank you for having the grace and beautiful pictures to write them.

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