Your Body, Your Space

Dear Kids,

The oldest of you has already started being exposed to teasing. The younger two of you have yet to be.

Let me tell you a secret. You will be teased no matter what. For attracting attention or for not attracting attention. For being different or for falling lock-step. Everyone is teased, no matter what. It is inescapable.

I was teased for having the name Sarah. This was one of the most common names for the year that I was born.

I was teased for being tall and skinny. These are traits that apparently many girls and women wish for.

I was teased for what I wore, even though what I wore was totally unremarkable and not very different from what anyone else wore.

And if I had not been teased for those things I would have been teased for something else.

There are millions of people in the world. Each of us is different but each those differences is really nothing unique. For each thing that we are, many people are. For each thing we like, many people like that very same thing.

You cannot avoid the teasing. No one can. What you can do is you can make a choice about how to react.

Look at the teaser’s shirt. Do you really like his shirt better than the one you chose for yourself? Why is his like better than yours? It’s just different.

Look at the teaser’s hair. Do you really like his hair cut better than the one you chose for yourself? Why is his better than yours? It’s just different.

You can just as easily make fun of him and his choices as he can make fun of yours.

That’s the secret about teasing. Anyone can tease anyone for anything, and even though it hurts it’s completely meaningless.

Pick your style. It’s yours. Not anyone else’s. Not your father’s, not mine, not your brother’s, not your friends or classmates. Your body is YOUR space for what you like and don’t like, what you feel and what you think. It belongs to no one but you.

If anyone questions it, just ask them why they are trying to make you feel bad about something that you like. It’s fine if they don’t like it- we don’t all like the same things. But it’s really rather rude of them to tell you so. You don’t tell them that you don’t like their shoes or their hair or the way they walk or their voice because all of those things are their things that make them who they are.

Chances are they were made to feel bad about something that they really really liked and just didn’t have the support and love to stick to their choices, and they’ve learned that teasing and being mean is okay.

That’s sad.

Everyone should be exactly who they are, just like you are being. Choose the things that make you happy and don’t let others rob your joy.

Rock your style as you discover who you are.

<3 Mama

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