Why CIO Isn’t Working and When It’s Time to Step Back

I get a lot of people landing on Nurshable after searching google or another search engine for information on why CIO isn’t working.

If you’re committed to using Cry-It-Out and you really don’t want to think about other alternatives, please go read this: http://www.troublesometots.com/extinction-burst/ because you won’t find any help with CIO on this site. And when you want to MAKE IT WORK with CIO the only choice is to be even less responsive and allow for more crying. I don’t personally care for that approach because it’s very adversarial and being adversarial seems like a strange way to encourage a child to sleep and “soothe” themselves at night. But different people view things differently.

If, however, you are doing CIO because you think that it’s the only way.. Because everyone has told you that it’s the only way.. Because everyone has said it would just be “a night or two of crying”.. And you’re finding that it is NOT just a night or two of crying..

You’ve been lied to. There ARE other ways. Ways that don’t involve crying. Ways where you are allowed to respond to your baby without feeling guilty.

There is a lot of rhetoric surrounding CIO. You “have” to do it or your baby will “never” sleep. It’s the “only way to establish healthy sleep habits.”

The language surrounding CIO has to be strong.  The warnings have to be dire. The entire philosophy revolves around encouraging parents to ignore every instinct in their body and in their child’s body. The language that CIO advocates use does not reflect reality, it reflects a need to strongly justify what they want to do.

You don’t have to let your baby cry.
You don’t have to use CIO in order for a baby to learn to self soothe.
You can establish healthy sleep habits for your baby and child in other ways.

There are other options.

Beware of anyone that tells you that you have to do something a certain way and that it’s the only way. That is the strong language of someone seeking to justify a strong method.

If you CHOOSE to use CIO that is your choice.

But in order for it to be a choice you need to be able to make the choice without feeling that you “have” to do things a certain way.

The choice is yours.

Did you choose CIO because it is the best choice for you and your family and because your heart is comfortable with it?

Or did you choose it because someone told you that you have to and your baby will never sleep otherwise?

YOU make this decision, not anyone else.

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