Dear Self: You Are Not Lazy

Dear Self,

You understand the work that you put in each day. You understand the days when you choose to relax and take things slow and mellow. And you understand the days when you speed around and catch up with the things that need to be done, always on your feet and with a 20lb clingy child strapped to your body or held close on your hip. You understand the days when you are too tired to do too much, and your reasons why. And you understand the days when you get so much done.

And you understand what things were like when you started, in the middle, and at the end. You understand that “what is left to do” does not always accurately show “what was done”.

I know that you have a mental image in your head of “what the house looks like clean” but looking at how things are at the end of the day, comparing it to that mental image, and using that to determine the level of work involved in the day? It doesn’t work that way.

So today when you move the moving boxes upstairs.. When you put away even more laundry and wash yet more.. When you go out into the backyard and do more yardwork.. And when you do all the kid-caring stuff across the day and spend your day in a whirlwind of happychaos.

Today.. When other people finally get home and you see the house through their eyes as they see what has not been done without any idea for what has..

Today.. Don’t absorb that.

Don’t look around through the eyes of someone who didn’t spend the day here, and don’t feel lazy when you’ve spent the entire day on the move.


Life is not about how others see you. It’s about how you see yourself.

YOU see what has been done across the day and you know what has been undone by the kids before it’s ever seen by anyone else. That doesn’t mean that it was never done or that the work wasn’t put in.

And self.. Aside from sitting down on the computer for an hour this morning to avoid the huge long list of things that need doing after a night of very little sleep following a night of very little sleep following a night of very little sleep following too many nights of very little sleep.. You’re gonna get a lot done. You’re going to help your teething daughter keep calm through her pain so that she can learn and play and enjoy her day. You’re going to help your two year old explore the backyard. And yes. You’ll get that mountain of laundry put away. Not because someone else will see it or because it’s a thing on the to-do list, but because it’s a part of the tending to the living things that truly matter. And if it falls off the to-do list because of the need to get out into the sunshine, that’s okay too.

Because you get a lot done

Laziness isn’t measured by what’s left over.

It’s measured by what’s been done. 

♥ – Self

5 thoughts on “Dear Self: You Are Not Lazy

  1. Hooray to you and to all of us parents!!! (OK… moms in particular…). I just read this after getting lots done and then having lunch while watching a 20 minute show (naptime…) and now I’ll try to put away the piles of clean laundry that are folded and never seem to get into the dresser! Thanks again and keep writing! You’re really, really, really onto something and helping many many many of us sleep deprived and loving mommas like yourself!!! :0)

  2. Thank you – your posts always speak directly to me! I needed this after a number of hectic days when all I want to do is go to bed, not clean up and ‘get things done’. Off to bed now…zzz

  3. Thank-you Sarah! We’ve been dealing with the stomach bug in our family of 7 for a week and a half now. Most days since it started I haven’t felt like doing anything except sit. My house is a mess, and I’ve been feeling bad, but this post really helped me. The last few days I have done a lot, I’ve kept my 18 month old from getting dehydrated by breast-feeding him every couple hours at his demand, and then cuddled and comforted him in between feedings while he’s burning up with a fever. That is more important than all the undone household chores. Thanks so much for this!

  4. I was directed to your blog by a friend after having a really rough day/week/weeks+ with my little one and I stumbled across this post. Thank you. I’m in tears, but thank you.

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