For the Mama Who Says “Gentle Parenting Doesn’t Come Naturally to Me”

Dear Mama,

“Gentle parenting doesn’t come naturally to me.”

Maybe you’ve written me a letter saying this. Maybe I’ve seen it in a comment here or on Facebook. Maybe you’ve said it to me as an apology when you have sought advice. Maybe you’ve thought it as a reason why you should just give up. It doesn’t come naturally. It’s hard. It is a lot of work.

Shh.. Shush. Let me give you the words that you’re looking for. “This is a conscious choice.” Do you feel the power of those words? “I am making the conscious choice to parent gently.” You may not be a natural at it. You may not have had the role models for it. You may struggle. But you are making a conscious choice.  You are choosing the road that stretches your abilities. That is not easy or simple for you. You are making the conscious choice to parent your children gently.

You are making the conscious choice.

You are learning new ways.

You are trying to give your child the things your heart says are best.

You have put aside your fear of “failing” and you are doing something that comes hard.

Fill your toolbox up with the tools that help you along.

Don’t apologize for not being a ‘natural’.

Be proud, instead. Be proud of the conscious choice that you are making. Of the progress that you have made. Of the beauty of the feelings that you have overcome, of the hurdles you have conquered. Recognize the little seeds of gentleness that you have sown and watch them grow.

“I am making a conscious choice.” There are no words more powerful than that.

<3  Sarah

4 thoughts on “For the Mama Who Says “Gentle Parenting Doesn’t Come Naturally to Me”

  1. I totally feel this way. And for me, it is a choice that I make every day, sometimes many times in a day. I can choose one path or another. Sometimes I flub up or misstep or don’t think about my actions until well after the moment has passed. But it is still me making the choice.

    Well said Sarah, as usual.

  2. I’m using this for WIO too. Currently he won’t sleep/nap at all unless I’m laying with him. My productivity (other than him) is zilch!

    1. Hi HRM – we are in the same place. Except that today my son fell asleep for the very first time EVER all by himself (at 8.5 months old) and I was in such disbelief that I just sat down for his whole nap and waited for him to wake up. Talk about being unproductive!! LOL

      Sarah – thank you for the beauty of this post and for reminding us that we have a choice.

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