In some kids they’ll process that it’s fine to be left alone and that mommy will come back to get them. When mom HAS to go back to work, there’s sometimes no other way. And they do learn. Different kids at different rates depending on their personalities and the caregivers they are left with and how their parents approach the separation.
Because I have a choice I’m choosing to wait it out and take the slow gentle road.
Children learn better with consistency than with inconsistency. So I try to be as consistent as I can and when inconsistency happens then I make sure to put in more work to repair the inconsistency. Just as I would with any other area of parenting. Insecure children are created by insecure attachment, not by secure attachment.
What a lot of parents see is the impact of “creating a monster” by allowing their child to be securely attached and then panicking and pushing the child away when they’re naturally more clingy as they go through a developmental phase. Yes. That will create a very clingy child. Pull ‘em closer when they need to cling. Reassure them that it’s okay to go be independent and it’s okay to cling and that they’ll go be more independent again when they’re ready. Because it’s normal. And they will be ready. Because independence is FUN.
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Quotables“Many of life’s failures are experienced by people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” ~Thomas Edison