One of the phrases I hear a little too often for my liking is “I’m bigger than you” and “show them that you’re bigger than they are”. That’s one of those things that can get inside your head and make you behave rather poorly.
I AM bigger than you. Big like a mountain in a hurricane. I’m big enough to understand that nothing you do will hurt me, and that I need to be careful not to hurt you. I’m big enough to stay calm in the face of bad behavior and the big feelings of a little person whose brain is still developing. I’m big enough to not throw an adult sized tantrum while trying to teach you to control the feelings that make you throw tantrums of your own.
I’m not ‘bigger than you’ in a way that makes it so I have to scare you more than you scare me.
I’m big enough to remember that oceans don’t scream at the fish.
I’m big enough to remember that fields don’t yell at deer.
I’m big enough to remember that I don’t need to yell at you.
As long as I am bigger than you I will be mindful of my size and how feeling small makes little people try and puff up like blowfish.
I don’t need to puff up. I need to sit down. To wait for your calm to come back.
You’re so small, there’s no reason for me to try and be bigger than I am. I don’t need to jump around and thump my chest.
I can see that you’re upset. I can shrink down to your size so you don’t have to try and puff up to mine. I don’t need to dominate you. I need to teach you that when there’s a problem we talk about it quietly and we listen and we try to fix things.
Yes. I am bigger than you. I’ve got more self control. I’ve got years of strength to pull from, and all the pounds of my full-grown frame. I’m big enough to catch you when you come slamming into me a wall of fury and upset. I’m big enough to hold you close while you cry about the things that hurt you. I’m big enough to understand that the scale at which you view things is the scale of your own experiences and that you will experience more as you grow.
I’m big enough to understand that I don’t need to make you smaller than you already are. I need to help you grow to be big like I am. And that takes time.
I’m big enough to wait while you grow.