I’m often asked “So you’re against CIO?” No. I’m not “against” CIO. I don’t use CIO. I have reasons why CIO isn’t a tool that I choose. And I don’t spend much time thinking about those reasons anymore.
Being “against” something doesn’t give me TOOLS. It just makes me focus on what other parents have chosen to do. It takes me out of my here and my now and puts my head and heart in another place with another baby and another set of parents.
No. I’m not “against CIO”.
I’m for Wait it Out. I’m for waiting while my child learns to sleep. I’m for teaching her about sleep. I’m for comforting her when she’s upset because she doesn’t yet understand how to sleep. I’m for looking at her, seeing what she is able to do and what she still struggles with. I’m for watching her behavior and trying to figure out what I can do to support her at each stage based on her abilities.
That’s not “against CIO”. CIO is just a tool that I’ve decided I’m not going to use. Not because I’m “against” it, but because there are other tools that I am for. Not because I’m “against” CIO, but because it’s just a tool that doesn’t fit into my relationship with my child.
I don’t want to waste my emotional energy on someone else’s child when I need all the energy that I have for my own.
I can spend time coming up with the tools that fit my life without having to create demons out of the tools that other parents find useful.