But What About Discipline?

But what about discipline?

I discipline, yes. I teach about the consequences of actions.

With spanking?

No, that is punishment, not discipline. Discipline is teaching, not punishment. Punishment is disconnected from an event, it is a thing done to a child, not a thing in which the child is engaged.

Discipline looks like explaining consequences connected to an event.

“If you pull the cat’s tail she may scratch you and she won’t want to play anymore.”

It looks like explaining what happened and showing empathy for the child’s upset or hurt from a situation, not trying to drive a point deeper to make them feel it more.

“I am sorry that your favorite cup broke when you dropped it on the floor. I know you are upset. I would be, too.”

Discipline means that the consequences for an action exist even if I am not in the room. That they stand alone, and even the tiny little consequences have weight all on their own.

When something needs to be made huge in order to merit attention, the child just becomes numb to that thing, the original reason.

That is not discipline, it ia desensitization and conditioning.

  1 comment for “But What About Discipline?

  1. September 22, 2014 at 7:14 pm

    ‘With spanking?

    No, that is punishment, not discipline. Discipline is teaching, not punishment. Punishment is disconnected from an event, it is a thing done to a child, not a thing in which the child is engaged.’

    yes, this.

    For me, discipline is often setting up a situation so everyone wins, so problems are avoided…

    For example, if they learn to keep in at the side of the pavement (sidewalk) and to stop at the end before the road, then they have the freedom to run ahead etc. It may seem like I’m setting up lots of restrictive rules but really I’m helping them have freedom within safe parameters.

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