The Pace of My Life Had Changed

JustAFewShortMomentsWith my first child it was all so rushed together. It felt like infancy would never end. Wakeups and diaper changes and naps and pajamas covered in spitup. Both his pajamas and mine. I was waiting for sleep and wondering if he would still be nursing when he left for college. The days seem strangely long because I was suddenly living at a infant’s life-pace after so many years of living at the speed of an adult. I didn’t have the space to breathe, even though each hour felt like a day and each day felt like a week all on its own. Back to back growth spurts. Back to back diapers. Back to back milestones. Back to back wakeups. Trying to learn why my child was crying, what to do about it, and then as soon as I learned it, it changed. I wanted time to slow down to give me the space to respond, but I wanted time to speed back up, too. Speed back up to naptime. Speed back up to bedtime. Speed back up to sometime when I could breathe for a few minutes before it all started all over again.

The pace of my life had changed.

And then suddenly it changed again.

He was three. Within the span of a week or two he was all done with diapers, all done with nursing, all done with waking up at night, all done with sleeping in my bed.

It feels so endless when they are small. But then you realize, looking back, that it was just two years. Just three years. Just however long it was. It’s flabbergasting because you felt like you were moving through a decade but then you look back and it feels like a few short days. Just a few short days that you want back for a moment more.

  4 comments for “The Pace of My Life Had Changed

  1. Gamze
    January 23, 2015 at 3:25 pm

    Oh yes.. I have been all too aware how fast these short years were going to go by.. possibly because I was so late in age to have a first baby.. I cried for weeks at the beginning that he was going to grow up! I am still trying to slow down the time, recording as much as I can and taking a million pictures.. I have began missing him from day one..

  2. suzy
    January 24, 2015 at 3:45 am

    So true…again… you’re posts are so timely that I almost come to think that you write them just for me 😉 Yes, the pace changes and it’s great, isn’t it :)
    I wonder if you also look back at the time before you had children in pure awe…. whow..how did I do all of that in one day? (And why did I think all of that was so freakin’ important? Was I out of my mind?) 😉
    have a nice day
    Greets Suzy

    • sarah
      January 26, 2015 at 6:32 am

      Suzy,

      Hah! I look back and am like “I HAD SO MUCH TIME. WHY DID I NOT USE MY TIME BETTER?” On the other hand I read a lot of awesome books. :) I miss books. I should start reading books again. 😉

      -Sarah

  3. Carina
    January 25, 2015 at 2:56 pm

    Slowing down can be a great gift for ourselves if we know how to take advantage of the new pace and the repetition of tasks as a lesson in mindfulness. I love how this entry reflects not only on how to watch the development of our children unfolding but also on our own development as adults. As a new mom I find myself often reflecting on my own childhood and the milestones that I found challenging. I also recall as an older sister of 4, how I watched my siblings grow. Back then the age difference of 3 years between my sister and I seemed huge. Today as we both have children under 2 and share in our joys and trials of motherhood that gap seems non-existent. But it is lovely to remind ourselves that we too needed time and demanded patience of our parents and caretakers when we were once tiny beings entering the world.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: