This is a guest post by Mr. Nurshable.
Dear Nurshable readers,
As you know, these elections have had a tremendous impact on us all. The lead up has been exhausting and the result has been shocking for everyone. Mrs. Nurshable is still recovering from that shock. As with all things, it will take time.
In the mean time I would like to share some thoughts with you all about moving forward.
Right now, the US is a divided country. Red vs Blue. Liberal vs Conservative. Urban vs Rural. Men vs Women. Majority vs Minority. There are so many differences that it can be easy to get lost and look down on others just for living in a different neighborhood.
And this is exactly the state that the country is in right now. Half of us are celebrating, half are grieving, and both sides are pointing the finger of blame at the other.
No matter which side you find yourself on please pause for a moment.
Now, consider this community. You are all different. Some of you come from the city. Some from the country. Some are God fearing. Some are skeptic. Some are wealthy. Some are poor. But all of you share the common trait of aspiring to be gentle with your parenting. It is this commonality that brings you together. More importantly, it is this commonality that guides how you all interact with each other.
This community is inclusive. When faced with anger you respond with kindness. When faced with frustration you respond with gentleness. When faced with blame you respond with understanding. It is these traits and responses that this country sorely needs right now.
Our community values allow us to coexist peacefully and without vitriol, even if we disagree sometimes. We do not need to feed the flame of anger and blame others for inheriting a broken system and trying to make the best of it. What we need more of is understanding.
Now I ask you. No matter what side of the election you were on, take the time to talk to people- especially those of your opposite view. Do so with the Nurshable mindset of understanding. Do not blame anyone for the results and do not blame anyone for forcing you to allow this to happen. That is counterproductive.
If you are grieving, remember that the 60 million people that voted for this result have felt exactly how you do now in 2008 and in 2012. And if you are celebrating, remember how you felt in 2008 and 2012.
If there is one thing that both sides can agree on is that the system we have is broken. What we are experiencing now is the result of that system. If we keep pointing fingers at each other then all we will succeed in doing is perpetuating the endless pendulum where half of us feel like our world crumbles every 4-8 years.
The path ahead will be long and arduous, and there are many things that we can do to help and to fix this. But it all starts with a conversation.
Words of understanding.
I ask you all now to put aside your anger, fear, frustration and grief, and try to UNDERSTAND the opposite point of view.
I am reminded a little bit of the Industrial Revolution which had a similar situation where poor, established factory workers were put out of work by poorer, less qualified, and less expensive immigrant workers. Fighting between the two groups was natural and was also fueled by wealthy industrialist interests who knew that they wouldn’t stand a chance if those two groups united.
And that is what I am reminding you all of today- to get through this, we must be united.
And we will get through this.
But it all starts with understanding.
Understand that your opinion is not the only one. Understand that opposing opinions are not incorrect. Understand that there are multiple points of view. Understand that you do not have to agree. But most of all, understand that you are all still human.
There is plenty to discuss between all of us, and we will get to the discussion part eventually (who knows, we might even find some really good solutions). But we need to be ready and willing to understand the views we don’t agree with first.
On Tuesday we saw the exact outcome of what happens when people don’t feel listened to. The same happens when children do not feel listened to. We all know and practice this kind of gentle understanding with our children. It is time to apply what we have learned to our interactions with our fellow adults as well.