Gentle Parenting Toolkits
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The Cautious Child: Big Changes in a Familiar Place
Alexander was three. We had been taking his older brother to karate lessons for a year. Alexander adored hanging out in the waiting area watching his brother through the big glass windows, copying the things that he was doing. He… Continue reading
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You Can’t Always Get What You Want
I am bringing laundry upstairs. Isaac, Alexander and Keenie are in the kitchen. Keenie and Alexander are eating some Mac and Cheese. Isaac has made himself a bowl of ramen noodle soup using the electric tea kettle the way I… Continue reading
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I’m Not Afraid to Say No. (I Just Try Not To)
There’s a lot of talk about “No”. About why not to use it, about why to use it, about being “afraid” of it.. It’s really not that big of a deal. It’s just that as a word it’s a closed… Continue reading
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Why Are You So Clingy When You’re Sick?
Why are you so clingy when you are ill? Why wouldn’t you be? It’s a wise thing for a little person. Your instincts are to cling close to the person that will take care of you. Your instincts are to… Continue reading
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Consequences and Punishment
At the breakfast table. Isaac is back from a weekend away. He is not integrating easily back into the way that we do things. “Isaac, if you yell at Alexander and Keenie, what are the consequences?” “I’ll be in trouble?”… Continue reading
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Misidentified Feelings, Inaccurate Words, and The Lies of Toddlers
“MOMMY, ISAAC PUSH ME!” she comes to me crying. Isaac is at school. There is no way that Isaac just pushed her. Keenie is two and a half. What she told me is not true. But is it a lie?… Continue reading
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Cooperation and Compliance are Not the Same Thing
When people talk about a child being “uncooperative” it can often be helpful to consider that cooperation and compliance aren’t the same thing. Cooperation is working together towards a mutual goal. If one person does not share your goal it’s… Continue reading
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Pre-Teaching About Dangerous Objects That We Use Every Day
“What about situations where natural consequences are unacceptable”? I teach about the object before the child approaches the object. Knives, for example. Here’s a picture of me peeling potatoes with two toddlers and a four year old. I don’t do… Continue reading
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He Had a Bad Day.
He had a bad day. I could see it on his face as he walked off the bus. “How was your day?” I asked. “I don’t want to talk about that.” So I let it go. Then when he was… Continue reading
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When Your Toddler Takes an Object and Won’t Give It Back
What should you do when your toddler takes objects and won’t give them back when asked for them? One option is to pry it out of your child’s hands, but that teaches them that when someone asks for something and… Continue reading
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