Category Archives: Nurshable News

Why I Abandoned Advocacy for Support (Peace in a Time of Mommy Wars)

I used to be a passionate advocate of breastfeeding, of gentle parenting, of certain “ideals”. I no longer am. I’m not a lactivist. I’m not an intactivist. I’m not a wait-it-out-ivist. I’m not a soldier in a battle in the mommy wars. In a way I have become a medic. I also help evacuate refugees that are caught in crossfire between opposing camps in this mad free-for-all fiasco of hurt feelings and bitterness. 
Being an “advocate” came naturally in the beginning. I was raised with picket signs and letters of protest against things that I felt were an injustice. I’m a daughter of a 1960’s mom.

Some things seemed black and white back then in the beginning. Those things seemed even more clearly right or wrong because of parenting decisions that I was beginning to make for my own child.

As often happens with any war, you head in as a new soldier expecting to win battles. Some people become hardened and excel at aggressive assaults or impenetrable defense. Some people become strategists. Some people become diplomats. Some people get caught in the crossfire. Some people see the casualties.

I saw the casualties. Moms who doubted their choices, their motherhood, their existence as human beings. Moms trying to make “methods” work to the point where they were caught between the method and their child and the method was winning. Postpartum depression, social isolation, sadness, anger, angry-sadness and withdrawal. I saw the white flags of surrender.

And I realized something. Discussions about parenting methods should be this thing of JOY. Of fascination, of learning, of discovery. Of finding out what works for us.. Of finding out what makes sense for us.

Few people come to joy through force. It was realizing this that caused me to abandon advocacy in order to be a provider of support.

I had abandoned advocacy long before the “birth” of Nurshable. I had abandoned it because I did not want to be one of the casualties, and because it left me feeling sad and defeated. I simply don’t have the heart or stomach for advocacy. There is a place in this world for advocates, and I admire the work that they do. But I will never be a soldier, and I do not believe I will ever be an “advocate” again. It requires talents that I simply do not possess.

I purchased on October 25 2011 and I didn’t touch it for a good long while. When I found out that I was having a daughter as opposed to a third son, something shifted in my heart and in my head. I started seeing my child in all of the women around me rather than seeing myself. And I realized that I do not want my daughter to be a casualty.

After my sweet little one was born, I made the decision to start writing her letters about my own journey through motherhood. I wanted to somehow convey to her all of the things that I’ve learned about finding joy in choices. I decided to share these letters, as they are things that I wished I could have read as a new mom.. Things I wish I could have read instead of the endless threads of who is and is not right and how right or how wrong each person is.

Through speaking to my daughter in these letters I’ve found an incredible sense of calm and peace. And through speaking to the readers of Nurshable I am growing my peace. I’m growing my compassion. I’m seeing what happens when there is place of peace outside of a war.

There is no clear “birthday” for Nurshable. Nurshable was not “born” when I registered the domain. Nurshable was not “born” when I found out I was having a daughter. Nurshable was not “born” alongside my dear baby girl. So I can’t write a birthday post for this blog on a specific date. So this post will serve as my “happy birthday” to this safe place that WE have created. Myself, the readers of Nurshable, and our children.

Thank you for helping me find this place, and for helping me keep it so full of joy and calm. By leaving the comments open, this blog has become a community that extends to the WIO group and the Nurshable page, and to all of the friends that I have made and that have come to know each other as well. This has become a creation of yours as much as it is a creation of mine.

And it makes me smile.

Nurshable: Now in the correct time zone. :p

I finally fixed the time on the server so that it correctly reflects my location on the east coast of the united states. I’m not exactly sure where it used to have me located, possibly in the UK.

This has shifted the site statistics around somewhat and now apparently my busiest day was 34K hits rather than 29K or therebouts caused by a multi-hour shift in the timezone.

Yay for accurate dates/times.

A Heartfelt Thank You to Granola Babies

I would like to say a heartfelt thank you to Granola Babies for sponsoring this blog by purchasing ad space on the sidebar. Please check out their site and support a mom-owned business that supports other moms in the community as well.

I visited the Granola Babies website for the first time today and absolutely love how it helps shoppers by providing information about different product types (such as the different types of cloth diapers and how many you might need.. What the benefits of carriers are..) and I LOVE LOVE LOVE the “rental” option for baby carriers where you can try a baby carrier without committing to buying one. I now know where I’ll be trying and then likely buying my Ergo in a few months when my daughter outgrows her stretchy wrap. :)

Thank you, Granola Babies, for being actively involved in parenting communities, and for your support.

New Server

Hi! is now on a new server. Hopefully the traffic won’t crash this one too. :) I’ll be playing around with wordpress caching plugins and other fun geeky things. :)

Thanks for visiting! If anyone wants to consider supporting Nurshable by purchasing ad space over there —–> it would be appreciated, as apparently the new server costs a small fortune that my approximately 80-cents-per-month google adwords revenue can’t quite offset. :p