For all my annoyance with the “Good Man Project” blog post I wrote about recently… I must say that reading the follow-up on Feminist Dad and reading that he related in some ways.. Got me thinking.

How hard must it be for the non-stay-at-home dad who has a stay-at-home wife?

Alex had a week off after each of our children were born. A week. By the time they were two weeks old he had a handful of hours for every twenty four of mine.

So. How do you keep dad involved?

1- Dad’s not an outsider.
2- Dad is a different person than you and is going to be a different parent.
3- Don’t sweat the small stuff.
4- Talk about parenting decisions and theories. Listen to dad’s opinions and thoughts. Don’t dismiss them just because they are different than yours. If they are different then have discussions. Try to structure it so that the first discussion is “Why do you want to do it this different way?” Try to understand where he is coming from without trying to change his mind. The second discussion is “why do you want to do it this way?” Where he listens and tries to understand. The third discussion is the practicalities involved. If one parent is responsible for the child(ren) 95% of the time, they need to be able to consistently use the parenting methods chosen. Talk about roadblocks/hurdles of both plans.
5- If he is able to get txts without risking his job, send him pictures and updates across the day.