Dear Daughter,

When you and I disagree about things, I try and remember that I do not have a right to your body, you have a right to your body. I have a responsibility. Sometimes my responsibility means that I have to do things that you might not consent to in the moment.

You have the right to the teeth inside your mouth, the hair on your head, the butt inside your diaper. You have a right to the arms and shoulders and legs and hips that  are held in place in your car seat.

I have a responsibility to make sure that your teeth are brushed, that your hair is clean, that the butt inside your diaper is changed and rash-free, and that you are safe inside a moving car.

These are not optional things. They are not always things that you can understand the value of.

I try not to fight you on them, not because I’m afraid of tears or find your tantrums to be threatening, but because I don’t feel that you should have to fight with me in order for me to remember that you own this body of yours.

“I’m sorry, I have to brush your teeth” instead of “I am going to brush your teeth whether you like it or not!”

I am sorry that I sometimes have responsibilities that I can’t make clear enough for you to consent. I try and help you get past your resistance in whatever ways I can, but sometimes I have to go ahead and make sure that you are safe and healthy.

I will never take your rights from you in anger, in mocking, or through a sense of entitlement.

❤ Mama