Teeter. Totter.

Let’s remember that when we ride a teeter totter that there’s another person on the other side and that when we go up we will be brought back down as the other person kicks off of the ground.

A breastfeeding mother in a public place should not look around her wondering if someone is going to take her picture and shame her behind her back.

A formula feeding mother in a public place should not look around her and wonder if someone is whispering and wondering what is in the bottle, if she’s her child’s mother, if she’s a good mother.

When we are surrounded by the militant from either side.. A breastfeeding mother being dragged down by those that judge her, that suggest supplementation every ten minutes, that tell her she is starving her child.. A formula feeding mother whose friends are breastfeeding fanatics that post-mortem every moment of her child’s life to try and find out where she “went wrong” because /every/ mother can make it work. You know. If she /tries/.

It’s tempting to explode in an angry barrage. To kick off fiercely against the ground so that we can gain some time back up in the sky with the bully down there on the ground.

We’re caught in that cycle, it would seem.

Teeter. Totter. Each time slamming harder, kicking harder.

But stop. Breathe. Take a look at that other mother. That stranger or that friend. Forget your own experiences. Forget the things that others have said. Look at the love.

Look at the love. Look at that soul-deep heart lifting bond. Look at that mother nursing her baby. With the breast. With the bottle. Look at the heart.

Whisper “Oh shit, I’m sorry” instead of all the things that would cloud your vision.Instead of saying those reactionary things that were in your head. Not sorry for her experience. Sorry for what you were thinking. I’ve thought those things. And oh SHIT am I sorry. So sorry that only that phrase will do. Swear and all.

Stop pushing off, knowing that it will push her under.

If she rages, wonder if someone else has pushed her under and if she’s just trying to get back up.

Slow down.

Try and balance each other, instead.

You don’t have to push off. You don’t have to push under. You don’t have to go under. That’s where we’ve all been getting it wrong.

We don’t have to be playground bullies and the playground bullied caught in trying to get our time in the air. We don’t have to play at games where we see how hard we can make that /other/ kid slam into the sand on the other side.

We can try.. Try… To find balance where everyone is lifted up in the joy and love of their journey. Where everyone can heal from the mean words of others, where everyone can heal from opportunities missed and deeply grieved.