Behavior Toolkit
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The Cautious Child: Big Changes in a Familiar Place
Alexander was three. We had been taking his older brother to karate lessons for a year. Alexander adored hanging out in the waiting area watching his brother through the big glass windows, copying the things that he was doing. He… Continue reading
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Cooperation and Compliance are Not the Same Thing
When people talk about a child being “uncooperative” it can often be helpful to consider that cooperation and compliance aren’t the same thing. Cooperation is working together towards a mutual goal. If one person does not share your goal it’s… Continue reading
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Pre-Teaching About Dangerous Objects That We Use Every Day
“What about situations where natural consequences are unacceptable”? I teach about the object before the child approaches the object. Knives, for example. Here’s a picture of me peeling potatoes with two toddlers and a four year old. I don’t do… Continue reading
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He Had a Bad Day.
He had a bad day. I could see it on his face as he walked off the bus. “How was your day?” I asked. “I don’t want to talk about that.” So I let it go. Then when he was… Continue reading
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When Your Toddler Takes an Object and Won’t Give It Back
What should you do when your toddler takes objects and won’t give them back when asked for them? One option is to pry it out of your child’s hands, but that teaches them that when someone asks for something and… Continue reading
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But What About Discipline?
But what about discipline? I discipline, yes. I teach about the consequences of actions. With spanking? No, that is punishment, not discipline. Discipline is teaching, not punishment. Punishment is disconnected from an event, it is a thing done to a… Continue reading
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Don’t Think of Pink Elephants, and the Annoying Repetitive Behaviors of Children
Don’t think of pink elephants. Stop thinking of pink elephants. STOP THINKING OF PINK ELEPHANTS! If you keep thinking of pink elephants you are going to have to sit on the bottom stair for one minute. TWO MINUTES! FIVE MINUTES!… Continue reading
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The Annoyance of Whining (Emerging Communication Skills)
Dear Daughter, You’re nineteen months old and your whines cut straight through me. They’re endless sometimes. You whine for everything you don’t have words for, or all the words that you forget in that moment where you feel a need… Continue reading
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Parenting Switches: Toddler Yells Instead of Sharing
The situation: The toddler is playing with a toy. His little sister wants to play with the toy. The toddler yells at his little sister. His little sister starts to cry. Try: Sit down on the floor with the two… Continue reading
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