Singing was that one thing that I swore I would never do as a parent. “You’re gonna have to be the singing parent” I informed my partner. Ironically I have become the parent that sings. And dances. And that essentially channels every terrible children’s program ever. With a touch of Dr. Seuss. Out of tune. Because I’m not only tone deaf I’m actual full on deaf-deaf. But. You know. Whatever. I just hope that my children learn actual tune and melody elsewhere.

I’m the person that doesn’t even like to lip-sync to Happy Birthday. Past attempts by pushy boyfriends to get me to “just try” to sing resulted in my informing them that I would sooner break up with them than sing and to kindly drop the subject.

So why do I sing with my kids? Many reasons. I don’t want my kids to think that they can’t do something that they enjoy just because they’re terrible at it. They enjoy it when I sing because even though I’m terrible at it I still rhyme and it’s still fun. And because it helps move things along faster and engages them enthusiastically in things that might otherwise be akin to pulling teeth. It also keeps ME moving and having fun.

Here’s my current songbook of completely made up children’s songs:

Instead of “sit down. Please sit down. Do not get up from the table until you’re done eating..”

I chant:

Sit sit sit to eat eat eat and if you stand upon your feet you lose the food you wish to eat! (My two year old will finish it for me if I don’t finish it. In fact he’ll chant it at me if I simply say “please sit down.” And he’ll sit. And eat. You know. Or he will lose the food he wished to eat. And my six year old has added on “done done done and now I can go have fun fun fun.” )

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Instead of “PLEASE come over here so I can put on your socks! Sit still! I need to get all three of you dressed so we can get out the door!”

I will sing:

A one sock a two sock a three sock a four. A one sock a two sock a three sock a four… We put on the socks before we go on walks outside the door! Socks on rocks! Socks on fox! Socks on little feet that we take on walks! Pants on bums! Pat the tums! Shirts over heads! Oh the blues! Oh the greens! Oh the reds! And a jacket on your back! and a bag on mine! Quick quick quick! We’re almost out of time!

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And when my daughter needs her diaper changed but is not in the mood I go silly with:

“Need to change your diaper cuz it’s full of pee,
need to change your diaper cuz it’s full of poo,
cuz it’s full of all the yucky that came out of you,
need to change your diaper cuz it’s full of pee
need to change your diaper cuz it’s full of poo,
gonna change your everything, everything except for you.”

So instead of getting upset about not being able to crawl she’ll lay there and tap her hand to the beat and smile.