Dear Daughter,

One year and twenty-nine days have passed since you were born into my arms. You have breastfed for one year and twenty nine days without missing a beat, and you will breastfeed for as long into the future as you choose. There is no date circled red on the calendar,  no ticking down timer, and no hourglass running out of sand. There is just you and how you grow.

You’re old enough to crawl after me, tossing your arms out ahead of you with your little fingers spread wide to thwap-thwap thwap-thwap against the floor, a puppy-dog tongue hanging out and your crazy curls bouncing everywhere. You pull up to stand against my leg and gesture wildly in one language while saying “Nur! Nur!” in another. Your four front teeth grinning a lopsided grin as you squeak in excitement at your independence.

You’re old enough to climb into my lap and to try to pull down the front of my shirt to nurse. To bob on my lap with all the movement that you temporarily contain to nurse your fill before you crawl off again.

You’re old enough for all these things, but you are not old enough to wean.

Some would say that you are, and they’d rattle off these lists of reasons why. I’ve long since stopped listening. Instead I smile and I draw the lines in the sand. Our breastfeeding relationship is backed by the American Association of Pediatricians and the World Health Organization. That’s us over here on this side of the line. And on the other side of the line is any opinion that states that a weaning time should come earlier than you prefer and earlier than you need. My challenge for them is simple: Find a single study that shows some kind of harm. A discussion can be had then, and not before. That’s the entry fee that I require before I will talk to anyone about a choice that you and I have made.

It’s an entry fee that can’t be met, because no such study exists.

This has let me put the barrage of ill-formed opinions off to the side. Breast milk is not water. You won’t bite my nipple off with your teeth. You will one day wean all on your own well before you go to college.

I wanted to write a long list of all the reasons that we continue nursing past this “magic” point of a year. There’s the anti-cancer benefits for you and for me, there’s the antibodies, there’s the bioavailable nutrients, there’s the awesomeness of nursing manners being a gentle introduction to discipline… There’s the closeness, there’s the benefits for oral development.. I can rattle off the reasons that were so important to me back in the early days with your older brothers when I questioned every decision and needed to know every reason.

With you, though.. After all these years of breastfeeding your brothers and then you.. The reason is simple:

I don’t want to celebrate your birthday by cutting you off. By telling you that you need to cry for something that you cannot have. I don’t want to hold you in my arms and tell you that you’ve grown too big for something that has been there for you every day since you were born.

You’ll wean when you’re ready. And I won’t let anyone else put their opinion in between the two of us. Yes. You’re old enough to ask. And I’ll let your voice be the loudest voice in the world. I’ll let your needs drown out the opinions of others.

I refuse to listen to nonsense when I can listen to you instead. 

❤ Mama